Feeling great about my weight!

I eat nutritious foods most of the time. Last night it was homemade beans and rice, salad greens and peas from my garden, fat free milk and a fresh pear, as pictured above.

My son is a Master Sgt (soon-to-be Senior Master Sgt) in the USAF which means he often is in a supervisory position. His comments to me about my weight loss and fitness make me think that if he uses the same language with those he supervises, he's really good at what he does. Here's what he said in an email when he saw the last photo I took (see in previous blog post):

i was going to comment that your outfit is nice, and very slimming, but it’s actually you and your hard work that is slimming! great job!!!

Great kid, eh! Kid? He turned 37 yesterday... my firstborn. My baby, my daughter, will be 25 on Friday. She's supportive, too!

If you read the last two or three posts, you know I've been struggling with overeating again and worried to death about gaining back the weight I'd gotten rid of. One very insightful friend wrote me: Two pounds feel like ten when they are layered with guilt. That was actually just what I needed to hear. Thanks, Kate!

As a "Lifetime Member" at Weight Watchers, I'm only required to weigh in once a month. The first weigh-in of the month is the one that counts. Meaning it can be no more than two pounds over the goal I originally set. I wasn't really worried about going over goal because I was about eight pounds under goal. But, you know how the mind can pay tricks on you. I was feeling huge so I therefore must have gained mucho pounds.

So I went to Weight Watchers last night and decided to do another weigh-in for June. Maybe, I hoped, I hadn’t gained a huge, huge amount, especially since I’ve done a lot of exercising. Then again (omigosh, the mind is going crazy here), I took it easy Sunday and didn’t exercise Monday because my body seemed to be telling me to rest, so I therefore will probably have gained too much.

I did gain weight! .2# - that’s two-tenths of one pound. Yahoo! What can I say? And why am I wasting so much time obsessing over my weight? My body feels better today and I’m back to exercising. Did my strengthening exercises (10-15 minutes) this morning. Then while on the phone for an hour with a friend and fellow life coach, I walked back and forth the length of my apartment for 45 minutes then spent the last 15 minutes riding the stationery bike.

I’ve got to see this ~ Bodies The Exhibition

Today is a new day

Okay, so I allowed myself to wallow in pity yesterday. After I finished yesterday's post, I got out and did some physical work. I feel better today. Gotta remember, don't spend too much time in front of the computer or the television.

Here are some updated photos of my garden and me. Love the fresh mesclun salads every day! Mesclun is so-o-o easy to grow. Colorful, tasty, healthy. Eat the nasturtiums and their leaves, too, or set them in a dish of water. The first nasturtium I picked lasted 4-5 days and the beautiful aroma lasted, too.





I gave my son a Topsy-Turvy planter for Christmas. He's growing a tomato plant and has several baby tomatoes. His yard thrives with special doses of fertilizers, weed killers, etc. He's doing the same for the tomato plant and it's responding well. Me? I just put seeds or plants in the ground, weed and water occasionally. I also talk to my plants. I wonder if he does that? We both get good results, I think because we expect them.

Down in the doldrums

Today is a blue day. I'm not referring to the sky. It's how I feel. I've been overeating -- or rather, eating too much of the wrong foods in addition to the right ones -- and it's catching up with me. If you have, or have ever had a problem with overeating, you know that the topic is on your mind all the time. I even wake during the night, several times, to take a bathroom break, and on the walk from bed to bathroom, while in the bathroom, and on the walk back to bed, guess what I think about! Food and my eating habits. A couple of days ago I got sick and tired of always thinking about food and eating too much. I decided to substitute an another image for that of food. Ducks came to mind...

Why ducks, you ask? The original thought is based on the nearby river and the duck population this past month. Lots of little ones being born. One day I saw a long line of ducks swimming up river--three sets of parents and their ducklings. Really, one long line. An adult, 12 ducklings, two adults, 6 older ducklings, two adults, three very young ducklings and one final adult.

That night, when I woke, I hopped out of bed and started to think of my weight and health and immediately said aloud, Duck! Then I laughed. I've used it at night since. Don't even have to say it aloud. It may not have fixed my eating habits, but it's lessened the obsessive focus on the topic.

The scale say I've put on about two pounds in the past month. I feel as if it's ten or twenty. This is so hard some days. What am I accomplishing in the meantime? I'm exercising every day (except Sunday when I force myself to give my body a rest). For instance, yesterday I did 30 minutes on the stationery bike in the morning, swam at the Y, and rode the bike another 30 minutes in the evening. Today I swam at the Y and will probably do the bike this evening. Every early A.M., too, I do my strengthening exercises. I was signed up for senior (citizen) pilates but withdrew today. After my last class, I had problems for a week. Too much strain on my back, I'm thinking.

Failure and starting over

Success doesn't come without its challenges, struggles, stresses and new learnings. It's all part of a process. This may seem trite, but it really is true. When something goes wrong, when we get off track and feel like we are a failure, it's time to refocus the thinking. We may have failed at something we're doing, at the moment, but we are not the failure. It's merely that moment and that attempt that failed. Again, trite and true - the Thomas Edison analogy. He "failed" thousands of time in inventing his light bulb.

So, too, we may experience many snafus in our weight loss journey. I know I do. Over and over again, it happens to me. In past years, it was all about gaining weight, losing it, and then finding it again. Hair-pulling time, argh! Now it's about stumbling blocks in my current weight management journey. I try not to refer to "loss" or "losing weight" since anything that is lost can be found again. I don't want to find my lost pounds... let them stay gone!

Why am I even on the subject of success, struggles and learning? Because the past two weeks haven't been easy; I've been so-o-o off track. Lots of excuses come to mind. For instance (brace yourselves!), I signed up to bring a treat for my grandson's kindergarten picnic. The treat included gummy worms, which I bought a week early - and ate. Restocked a few days before the event - ate them up again. See what I mean? I also haven't been keeping track of what I'm eating - at least not in my Weight Watchers' tracker. When it's not there in black and white, I can easily pretend I'm still on track. Hah!

How have I felt for the past two weeks? From bad to worse to horrible. Sure I continued to eat good foods, but in addition I ate gummy worms and other foods I will not name for fear of jinxing my current attempts at getting back on track. All that sugar and all that extra food led to sleepiness, bloating, gas and aching joints. At first, I fooled myself thinking I was getting the flu or my arthritis was flaring up for some unknown reason or one of my medicines needed adjusting.

Hogwash, I finally admitted. Too much sugar makes me crave extra naps (and more sugar). It also makes my joints ache. When I feel bloated, it seems to me that I've gained back all the weight I've gotten rid of. Now it's physically impossible to regain almost 50 pounds in less than two weeks, but that's what it felt like.

There comes a point when you have to make a choice. What am I saying!? Every day is about choices. Every day I choose what I eat or don't eat or overeat. Whether or not I exercise and how much I exercise. Luckily, throughout this latest challenge, I've continued to exercise. That's my solid reminder that I have not gained back a lot of weight. If I had, the exercise wouldn't be so easy.

Weight loss (GETTING RID OF...) is about ups and downs, successes and failures. How else would I learn about myself, my body, and how I view everything that happens in my life. What I learned -- and know I'll forget again and have to learn all over -- is that I didn't like the bloated, sleepy, sluggish person I was becoming recently. I also learned that employing just one trick from my little bag really works. If it doesn't, I try another. Night before last, I pulled out a slip of paper, checked the contents of the frig, freezer and cupboards and wrote out a menu for the next day. So, yesterday was a 98% better day. I'm not aiming for 100%. That would be too wearing. 98% is great. I didn't do a menu last night for today, but I prepped my breakfast again. Dry oatmeal, cinnamon and flax seed in a bowl, ready to add water, milk, and blueberries and pop into the microwave as I exercise. And, I did write out a menu this morning.

My Weight Watchers leader carries food and water everywhere she goes. You can tell -- she looks great. Remember the gummy worms treat. Yesterday was the kindergarten picnic. I had no idea what other foods would be there in addition to my chocolate-gummy bars, but I know me and know that I would be inclined to eat the most sugar-laden, fat-laden foods in the mix. I pre-pared. Packed a bag with water, celery sticks and a low-fat veggie cream cheese. It worked. I sipped on water and munched on celery (which is pretty boring by itself, but I love the crunch and the cream cheese was the "kick").

HeliumTips for a first-time breastfeeder

Widgets

I've discovered a new "toy" on Helium, my favorite writing website. It's called a widget. All I have to do is click the widget connection by any article, copy the html code that shows up and paste it here or on any other website I manage. The article that shows up each time is the number one article, so if I don't stay in first place, someone else's article will show up.

Looking through my 197 (so far) articles on Helium, I came across my "Tips to help the over 70's get through the winter". I'm going to make the widget connection here, today, to that article. I know, I know, were heading into summer now so why would I want to link a winter-based article? Because, in reading through the article, I realized it was relevant any time of year, any weather, for any age. I just happened to gear the writing to 70-year olds. One tip in the article is about continuing to learn: ...Keep on learning, keep your brain active, and stay mentally and physically healthier. I'm pleased to see that, as I navigate through the decade prior to my 70's, I'm acquiring new knowledge and skills -- such as learning how to use widgets.

Also from my article: Commit to viewing the news every evening for a month. I give national and world news only a cursory glance, so maybe I'll try this one.

Take a free computer class at your local library. Sign up for an aerobics class at the Senior Center or the Y. Always wanted to learn a second language? Find a free class online, borrow language tapes from the library, or find a neighbor who will trade lessons for babysitting or baking.

Ah, widgets. They've got my brain in high gear this morning. I needed that. Here's today's widget that will lead you to the entire article...

HeliumTips to help the over 70's get through the winter

Stephen Colbert, the new Bob Hope in Iraq

Anyone old enough to remember Bob Hope's USO trips overseas to entertain the troops - as well as those not old enough - will appreciate Stephen Colbert's recent four-day trip to Iraq. My son is a big Colbert fan and sends me YouTube videos to watch all the time, so he alerted me when he heard about Colbert's upcoming trip. I skipped YouTube this time and went straight to my DVR and recorded all four programs with "one push of a button". I am so thrilled with DVR and cable television. Always hated cable because of so many commercials. Now I can pause during commercials and fast forward a few minutes later to the continuing program. And I can DVR - or record - Stephen Colbert's 11:30 P.M. programs.

As soon as Colbert walked out onto the Iraqi stage the first night and I saw Colbert, I thought Hope. Remember Bob Hope's golf club. Colbert carried one, too, and it was, I think, the final night, when he admitted to the Hope connection.

(Credit goes to lleugh and hsjones on Flickr for today's photos.)

HeliumHow to be a good guest on a sailboat

Exercise after eating

I never before realized how important exercise in the overall scheme of weight loss. If I didn't exercise, I'd be gaining again for sure. For all the extras I eat - healthy and not - I need the exercise to offset those calories. In addition, exercise interrupts my brain waves when they start feeling sluggish (along with my body!) and tell me I should rest instead of moving so much. To heck with resting. I rest enough and need to exercise just as much as I need to rest. No-- more!

BWL (before weight loss) I found it more difficult to exercise for long periods of time, due to the extra weight. There was more to it, I now realize. I was always carefully checking to see if I could find a time to exercise that was at least two hours after eating meals or snacks 'cause that's what I had read was the proper way to do it.

Uh-uh, I say it ain't so! Waiting two hours is a big, fat Excuse which could lead back to a big, fat Me. Sure, I'm not going to take a 45-minute speedy ride on my stationery bike within fifteen minutes of eating. Without keeping such an eagle eye on the clock, however, I've found the time that seems to work for me. After eating I sit down to watch television or read a book. Within a half hour or so, I start feeling really relaxed and sometimes even sleepy. That's when I know I need to get up and start moving.

So far I haven't had cramps or otherwise suffered from exercising soon after eating. If it happens, I'll deal with it. Meantime, no more excuses, no more waiting two hours--which turns into three or four or never.

I want to share a BWL photo with you. It's what I keep posted in my kitchen to remind me where I've been and where I could end up again.

HeliumGreat places to exercise in Elmira, NY

Second post of the day - new pics of the garden

Peas, mesclun, parsley, chives, tomato, nasturtium, sage, thyme and assorted flowers.

Love having fresh salad every day.

One blossom on the cherry tomato plant. Each pea plant has several blossoms.

Signs of weight loss. Sitting on the floor.

I've been shrinking out of my wardrobe over the past six months. The most recent surprise was when I realized I was no longer unsnapping, unbuttoning or unzipping slacks or jeans when I go to the bathroom. They're slipping right down with no effort. As a matter of fact, I have to wear a belt with the jeans. I moved the buttons on one pair of slacks and a week later had to pull them tighter around my waist with a safety pin.

My Pilates instructor says to sit on the floor - often. I've avoided the floor in recent years because of the difficulty getting up and down with the excess weight. Then, too, when I did get up, I sometimes felt a bit dizzy. Sitting on the floor is good for the hip/leg joints, she tells me. Keeps you limber. She's got a point there; the few times I did get on the floor with one of my grandsons in the past, I was certainly stiff on rising. So, I've added floor sitting to my list of things to remember and to do.

Kids have no problem squatting or sitting on the floor. We seniors need to follow their example more often.

Three ways to sit on the floor...
*legs extended straight out in front
*bottom of feet together and knees out to opposite sides almost touching the floor (think frog!)
*a "half lotus" (a lotus - which I was able to do and loved to do many, many years ago - is legs crossed and ankles pulled up onto opposite thighs)

Wikipedia has a good description of floor sitting.

Tips for losing weight and maintaining weight

Cleaning off the kitchen counter, I came across my list of weight loss tips. Like many papers on my counter, it had gotten buried. Here's what I wrote about four months ago...

*All meals and snacks at the table, proper place settings - no books, tv or computer
*Put fork, spoon, food down - and hands in lap - between bites
*Try to have 1-2 (Weight Watchers) points left at the end of day for a treat
*Wait 10 minutes when have urge to eat
*Brush teeth immediately after eating/drinking (except water)
*Salad every day (including 1 c. lettuce/greens)
*Take smaller bites

I stuck faithfully to this list for over a month, then forgot about it. That's okay. Once in a while, still, when I think I'm not eating right, I pull one of the tricks - I mean, tips - out of the hat to use for several days.

More notes from the countertop pile...

*The weight gain was gradual, so why shouldn't the weight loss be gradual?
*Keep my eye on small goals - 5# only.
*Think about Balance - don't swing back and forth from overeating to dieting and back again to overeating.
*I have tools at my fingertips (such as the list above), every minute of every day - use them until they don't work, then change it up. Ex. - Exercise - strengthening exercises, stationery bike, walk indoors or out, or on mini trampoline, swim @ YMCA (walking to and from the Y).

About mixing and matching my tools, particularly in the exercise arena, I still do all these (strengthen, bike, walk, mini tramp, and swim). I vary what I do in any given day. And I've added Senior Pilates to the mix. Sunday this week I rested.. No, I didn't... I'm kidding. I do usually rest on Sunday, but had a meeting to attend late afternoon. Decided to walk there. 2.65 miles according to Mapquest. So, I did it and enjoyed it. Felt good; more than I usually walk. Then I decided to walk home after the three hour meeting. Halfway home started wishing I had taken a ride or could stop and call my daughter, but I pushed myself and made it home. I expected aches and pains the next day, but no problem. Being fit really pays off.

So that was Sunday. Monday I completed sixty minutes of Pilates and forty minutes on my stationery bike. Yesterday I rode the bike thirty minutes in the morning and 30 minutes again in the evening. Oh shoot, I wanted to do the bike this AM, but forgot and have a meeting in a few minutes. Maybe after.

Are you attracting death with your worry?

Sometimes I wonder if thinking and worrying about death is like putting up a big red flag that says "Here I am, death. My mind is on you, so you might as well come and get me."

In a recent phone conversation I decided to share some very serious thoughts I'd had since I was diagnosed with idiopathic cardiomyopathy in 1997. I'm fully recovered now, but since that diagnosis, I notice every sign and every symptom in my physical being. Not simply notice, but really notice. Do you get the difference?

I've been so-o-o healthy all my life. Don't believe in -- still don't -- flu shots or antibiotics because I believe they interfere with the body's ability to do its own work. It may take me a bit longer to get over basic illnesses, but I do it with rest, liquids, healthy foods and not much else. Being around my very young grandsons, who pass on their every illness to friends and family, means I'm exposed to a lot of germs! If anyone is sick in their household, I resort to echinacea for 5-7 days. I don't get sick much anymore.

I hated cardiomyopathy not only because it was a serious diagnosis (with possibilities of death or heart transplant), but also because of all the medication I ended up taking. Since then, my health has improved great, my heart has shrunk back down to almost normal size, and I'm only taking two meds for my heart and blood pressure.

Then there was the back surgery in late 2007 and the neurosurgeon's admonitions not to run or do certain exercises. I've lost so much weight since then and strengthened my ab muscles greatly, so that now I'm not running, but am doing exercises he might not have previously approved. Back when I was overweight, I would sometimes feel pain in my left arm (awk, I thought, was I stroking!?), but I knew it was connected to the arthritis in my left shoulder. Then there was the occasional, momentary pain in the left side of my chest which I (we, doctors too) decided was probably a chest muscle spasming. (I'm pretty sure spasming isn't a word.)

The point of this whole discourse is that these things bring on concerns -- sometimes more serious, worries -- about death. I don't want to die. I know it will happen someday, but not till I'm at least 103 has always been my wish. Possible. I had a great-aunt who died at 108. And, I want to die peacefully, in my sleep. Well, enough of that.

The point, really. Talking with my friend, I told her about these feelings and she said she understood completely. Women in her family have died at age 65 or 66. She's 64 and is waiting to see what happens. Waiting to see what happens. Sounds like standing in the middle of a Spanish bullring with a red flag in hand waiting to see what happens.

I tried to empathize and explain to her how she's more likely to attract death if she keeps thinking about it. Of course, I realize I'm doing the same thing. I'm paying more attention now. To those moments when I think of death and how I think of it. I'm learning to shift gears. Get my mind back on my goal of 103 (or older :) and refocus in the present. I don't want to attract death with my worry.

(Photo by self. Photo within photo by son, J.C. Burke. Click on any photo to see an enlarged version.)

People notice I'm losing weight

I went in for my monthly massage yesterday. One of the massage therapists asked mine if I'd been sick since I'd obviously lost so much weight. Well, that was strange, but I'm glad it's noticeable. Just under two pounds a week average since October 2008. That's not too much.

I've begun watching "What Not to Wear". The transformation of a recent guest had Stacy London stunned into silence. Today I was grocery shopping at Wegmans. Started walking down an aisle and noticed a woman standing at the end with her jaw dropped and unable to speak for about a minute. It was someone I hadn't seen since last summer BWL (before weight loss). I loved the reaction!

We need reminders that we've done well. I know, because sometimes I look in the mirror and only see the leftover rounded tummy and the slight saddlebags. Like any other area of my life, I sometimes focus on what needs to be done and forget to embrace and relish my accomplishments. Don't you just love those words - EMBRACE! RELISH!

*****

I hope you'll take a look at my new Helium Zone on Nonprofits and Volunteers.

Dancing at the Senior Center

I stopped at a nearby senior citizens center to print some copies. Dance class day, it turns out, so I stood in the doorway and watched my friends Roger and Carol practice the tango. The instructor is in her eighties and has been teaching every type of dance for many years. She came up to me and asked if I'd like to dance. Hmmm, why not! Haven't danced in years. I love dancing. So, I said YES.

I was introduced to Dr. T, a retired doctor (what kind, I wonder) in his 90s. The last time I danced -- the last many times I danced -- a slow dance meant HIS arms wrapped around my waist and MY hands behind his neck. Slow and up close. Dr. T was of the old school and held his left arm straight out to the side and curved his right arm ready to place his hand behind my waist. There were several inches between our bodies. I remembered that kind of dancing and stepped straight into his arms.

So nice to have someone who knew how to lead. I'm 5'8" tall and Dr. T is taller, probably around 6'. He was dressed in a suit - including a white shirt and tie - with just a hint of aftershave. This was my first time doing the tango. I wasn't bad. Dr. T. was better. We shared three dances which I thoroughly enjoyed. I also welcome the human touch.

As the our last dance ended, Dr. T complimented me on holding my right arm stiff so he could easily lead. I thanked him and thought to myself, He's right, that's the way it should be and that's the way I remember dancing long, long ago. I may go back for more.

(photo by Hello.Marissa at Flickr.com)

Losing weight and bras

Being sixty-three years old and losing weight means that my breasts are sagging more than ever. That's a lot of weight pulling on my shoulders and back. So, much as I dislike wearing bras, it's a necessity. Oh, how I rue the days of my teens when I moaned and groaned about my size 36AAA's. If only I had them back.

So, like I said, a bra is necessary. Trouble is, for some reason, bras are irritating my back, right at the spot where they're hooked. I'm always having to adjust my bra since the heaviness of my breast pulls the front of the bra down and the back of the bra up so that the hook section ends up in the irritated spot again.

It doesn't seem to make a difference using different brands or styles of bras. Everything from the cheapest to the most expensive (my Victoria's Secret) scratches at the spot. I had a new idea recently: I put on a camisole, then put the bra on over it. Seems to help, protects the area where the irritation is. Seems silly, though, having the bra over the camisole, instead of under it. Sometimes we have to think out of the box -- or in this case out of the bra. It's all very irritating.